A study conducted by marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman shows that 92% of men who cheat said it wasn’t primarily about the sex.
The study also reveals that one in 2.7 men will cheat and most of their wives will never know about it.
The findings have been documented in Gary’s book “The Truth About Cheating” written after surveying hundreds of faithful and cheating husbands to uncover the real reason some men stray.
Gary says he wrote the book to empower women. “It’s not about blaming the wife. It can’t be. I mean, cheating is ridiculous. It’s wrong. And you can’t justify it,” Gary says. “My book is about one thing. It’s really about empowering women. If I can give you knowledge that says that I could have proof that if you do certain things, you can lead your relationship to a better place, that will be much better for you as well because it’s not just about stopping tragedy. It’s about building a much more mutually beneficial relationship.”
Many think that men mainly cheat because they want sex. That’s far from truth. Gary’s survey reveals that 92 percent of men said it wasn’t primarily about the sex.
“The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures,” Gary says. “Men are very emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.”
One of the men Gary interviewed said he cheated on his wife because he felt underappreciated at home and started feeling insecure. “That insecurity was really the catalyst. I didn’t feel comfortable going to the one person in the world I should be going to, which is my wife.”
Lack of appreciation makes a man insecure, so a woman who can make him feel appreciated can easily win him over. “[She] makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired,” Gary says. “Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they’re insecure like everybody else. They’re searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued.”
A woman who wants to keep her man should not be afraid to make him feel appreciated. “We get married because we want one person in the world to really think we’re wonderful for doing all the things that we do. We all want the same thing,” Gary says. “And the more we give it, the more we get it in return.”
READ ALSO: Six warning signs that your partner is cheating
Physical beauty also doesn’t seem to really matter because most men don’t cheat on their wives with more attractive women. Eighty eight percent of the men Gary surveyed said the other women were no better looking or in no better shape than their own wives.