Shyness can grip us in painful ways, making one think it’s a fixed part of their emotional makeup, and it usually extends far into one’s personality. Shy people often think shyness is something they’re incapable of eliminating.
They have a hard time meeting new people and always cancel invitations, which hurts their social life, including dating. Further, shy people spend too much time in their heads, judging themselves based on other people’s standards and opinions. They’re always trying to work out ways they should act and behave in various situations. Shyness is based on a set of thoughts about the world that one can change through a process of reason. The thoughts revolve around how we interpret strangers based on certain differences. Here are some strategies to help you overcome shyness.
If you’re a reserved person, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Quiet people often apologize or find excuses for their shyness. They feel guilty about their state and feel like they’re the only person with that pressure. They however forget that nearly everyone has struggled with these same anxieties at a certain point in life. People are affected differently by social anxiety problems, but it doesn’t make you any worse than anyone else. You have nothing to apologize for. The only person you are affecting is you.
Avoid grouping yourself
You may have struggled for long enough to the point you brand yourself as a shy person. “I can’t help it.” “I’m just like that.” However, such statements are not factual. Why do you find it difficult to talk about a favorite topic that strangers discuss at an event, but you instantly come alive when your friends talk about it. Don’t use terms such as shy and awkward to sum up your personality when you’re the complete opposite around friends and family. Labeling yourself as such only hurts you in the long run.
Focus on people
Shy people often think that the best way to be outgoing is to prove that they’re worth looking and listening to. It’s a wrong way of looking at social interactions since it’s not how we connect with others. You don’t have to be in the spotlight to escape shyness. People love talking about themselves, and you can use this to your advantage. Laugh at their jokes and ask questions, as this helps create a good first impression without you being the center of attraction.
Comparisons are damaging for people trying to overcome shyness. Comparing yourself to a more extroverted individual leads to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Having low self-esteem is one of the main reasons people struggle to interact with others. Entertaining comparisons cripple your confidence, creating self-doubt that prevents you from coming out of your shell. Instead, it would be best if you worked towards building your self-esteem by learning to trust and take pride in yourself.
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Avoid repetitive cycle
Shy people often make the same common mistakes. They find great opportunities to socialize but talk themselves out of it. Afterward, they feel terrible about passing up on that opportunity convincing themselves it’d be the only chance they’d ever have. But just like any other type of self-improvement strategy, overcoming shyness isn’t about making one big, bold statement; it requires making small, consistent steps forward. Always strive to create opportunities that make you socialize with people despite your discomfort.
Place yourself in unfamiliar settings
Shyness often revolves around our environment. Shy people are outgoing in the presence of friends and family in familiar settings. They’re able to suppress their insecurities because they are calm and comfortable. However, when paired with unfamiliar people or unfamiliar locations, they’re overwhelmed, and their confident personality vanishes. If you always crumble when in an unfamiliar environment, then that’s what you need in abundance to help your situation. Visit a few uncomfortable settings, those that throw you out of your comfort zone. Later on, going for events at unfamiliar places won’t feel as scarier as those you’d have visited earlier.
If you’re a victim of shyness, we hope you’ll overcome it and become more confident in life. Do not miss out on great opportunities created by interactions from your social life.