The signs of an incompatible relationship: Many of us spend a good chunk of our lives looking for the ideal soul mate. What happens when we find someone? How do we tell they’re the right person to start a relationship with? While compatibility is not a guarantee of longevity, studies show that it is directly related to the quality and satisfaction of our relationship.
The more compatible you and your partner are, the happier you’re likely to be with them. Everyone has their ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should possess but rarely do we find someone who’s the perfect match. Instead, we learn to love people despite their flaws. However, it can be hard to differentiate between typical differences and incompatibility. So let’s take a look at some signs of an incompatibile relationship.
You don’t get each other
Right from the go, this can tell you a great deal about how good of a match you and your partner make, a view held by Spirit Clanton, a celebrity relationship and family therapist. If you’re having a hard time understanding what your partner is feeling, thinking or what they need, then they might not be the one for you. A compatible partner is someone you can be in sync with, someone who can easily pick up and understand your non-verbal cues. If a couple doesn’t get each other, then this opens the way for miscommunication and misunderstanding to thrive in the relationship.
You try to change each other
What healthy couples need to be doing is growing and learning together. We all need partners who give us the drive and motivation to change for the better. Change is effective when it’s a personal choice from the individual initiating it. Despite your partner showing irritation and dissatisfaction with the current you, it is not healthy if you’re forcing change on yourself solely because they want it and you don’t.
You’re too different from each other
Every solid, healthy couple should share at least a few similarities with their partner. Not necessarily sharing the same likes and interests in everything but in a few aspects. Differences in the things you like as a couple are usually exciting at the initial stages of a relationship. Both of you seek to explore and enjoy what each other have. However, once this wears off, you’re both left with someone who doesn’t share the same humor, interests, values, or ideas, making it difficult to relate to one another in any meaningful way.
It is perfectly healthy to have disagreements in relationships occasionally. But it becomes a problem when the fighting happens constantly and over the tiniest of things. Conflict brings out the ugly side of people, and it’s never a good thing for a healthy relationship. If the fights are coupled with shouting, name-calling, humiliations, and emotional blackmail, then it’s time to reconsider your choice of a partner. Yours is certainly an incompatibile relationship.
You’re not attracted to them
If your relationship lacks romance and chemistry, it’s simply not going to work. It means your relationship misses the much-needed passion for steering it forward. From the Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg, although intimacy and commitment may be present in a relationship, the love you share as a couple will be platonic without passion. If you’re attracted to your partner, you’ll always want to be around them and will enjoy doing anything with them.
The perfect relationship does not exist. Healthy relationships require ongoing effort, dedication, and time for them to grow. Learning how to identify and recognize compatibility versus incompatibility is vital since it will save you from wasting time and heartbreaks.